The story concerns four twenty-somethings who hang out together in an all-night café (in Glasgow, it looks like). They all work night shifts, though their good looks and diction suggest that this is a choice rather than a last resort. One is a shagger; one is a nerd; one never sees his girlfriend, while one - Kate Ashfield, the only actor here to give the dull dialogue any life - just sort of sits there, perhaps because screenwriter Jack Lothian decided he’d better stick a woman in the mix.

Director Saul Metzstein has admitted he'd only ever shot 20 minutes of drama before this, and boy does it show. His film dutifully mimics the surface of romantic comedy, American-style, but repeatedly fudges the motivation that underpins even the flimsiest examples of such. Unconstrained by logic, wit or taste, Late Night Shopping is an awful waste of time.

Dom Maxwell